... infertility recovery isn't just about surviving pain- it's about reclaiming our power
... coming together as women is revolutionary and powerful
... we can't completely heal alone and there's far more to healing than medical treatment
... we can't love ourselves in pieces
... you can't endure infertility without experiencing body shame and spiritual trauma
... parenthood doesn't resolve the pain of infertility
... there is magic inside us- even when it feels hard to access
When I started trying to get pregnant I believed I was the goddess embodied. I walked around the house head high calling myself "a sacred vessel." Every month I felt in touch with a lineage of power and sisterhood. I was born to do this special thing and I couldn't wait to do it.
I stopped believing in magic.
As my infertility journey drew out I struggled to find hope, to recover from losses, to explain why this curse had fallen upon me. I felt alone, depressed, and completely detached from this very spiritual purpose I thought I was meant to fulfill.
I sought out spiritual community that could hold pain and hope. I longed for a goddess to worship, a prayer to recite, a mantra for peace- but I couldn't find them.
I stopped trusting my intuition.
There were so many times my body mislead me with symptoms and betrayed me with mistaken hope. I stopped trusting it and disconnected from my body.
I felt completely alone.
I lost community with other women as they moved on to a special mom club I would never be able to join. Nobody understood what I was feeling- not even my partner.
So I looked for community in support groups and online forums but always left feeling they fueled negativity, bitterness, envy, and depression. I wanted to find inspiration, hope, and encouragement for my whole self (not just my reproductive capabilities).
I got really sick of being defined by my unexplainable infertility. Everything seemed to feel my hopelessness.
Time to create something else
In that place of darkness, I focused all my therapist and coaching training and experience on my infertility recovery. I put together every tool I found (and researched more) to pull myself out of the pit. It took a while, but with some trial and error I built a toolbox that worked.
Let me be clear, I'm not saying it "worked" meaning I got miraculously pregnant. Because it worked in that I stopped defining my success and my worth on pregnancy.
And I am not saying it "worked" because I never get sad. But it worked in that the sadness doesn't own me anymore. When sadness visits I find peace more easily and I am happy and hopeful in a much more embodied way.
It worked because it helped me trust my body again. It helped me practice self-compassion and self-care for me, not just for a baby. And it helped because I formed a community of badass women who have my back no matter my status as a parent.
I get you
I'm a professionally-trained coach, couples counselor, therapist, and workshop facilitator. I'm also an infertile woman. Through my own healing process I created a program to help other women climb out of the heartbreak .
Unlike other coaches, I earned master’s degrees in both counseling and education and am working on my PhD. My coaching and education background to help you learn and move forward (not just look back).
You are stronger than you know
I've helped so many women regain trust in their bodies, build soulful self-connection, and start creating a life they love after infertility. Together we've created a community of compassionate supportive women so none of us has to go it alone.
There's power in our coming together
I host workshops and retreats for this group of soulful badass women who also happen to be infertile. I'd love it if you joined us.
In my free time I'm a serious gardener, I listen to NPR, and practice yoga and hand lettering. I love my dog and traveling the world with my partner, Rae.
What I've Learned...
Formal (Academic) Training:
BSE in Social Studies Education, 2002 (because I was going to be a History teacher...)
BA in Women's Studies, 2002 (because when everyone questions feminism it helps to have fancy books to point at...)
BS in Geography, 2002 (because I really, really like maps)
MS in Higher Education, 2004 (because I used to teach college students to be leaders)
MA in Counseling Psychology, 2010 (because I wanted to teach people to love themselves and others better)
PhD in Religious Studies, 2017 (because I really really wanted people to call me Dr.)
Training and Certification:
Kinsey Institute Sex Educator Certification, 2004 (where I started talking to people about passion, shame, and resilience)
Nonviolent Communication Intern, 2005-2008 (where I learned about ask for what you want and listen to other people)
Family and Neighborhood Mediation Intern, 2005-2009 (where I learned about repairing relationships after fighting)
National Coalition Building Institute, 2007 (where I learned what to do with internalized oppression)
Myers Briggs Facilitator Certification, 2007 (I got to learn about career counseling and personality testing- great stuff!)
Compassionate Listening Project, 2008 (where I really focused on the importance of being heard in order to heal)
Invite Change - Transformative Coach Certification, 2006-2008 (where I learned about transformative life coaching)
People's Institute Northwest, 2007, 2008, 2009 (where I really practiced listening and reflecting on privilege)
Trauma Stewardship Institute, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011 (where I learned to prioritize of self care and balance)
LGBTQ Therapist Certification, 2010 (where I got real official about serving a fabulous community)
Relationship Research Institute Intern, 2010 (where I learned all about fighting and making up and building trust)
Positive Psychology Certification, 2013 (where I learned the science of happiness and tools to build happy lives)
Daring Way Facilitator Certification, 2014 (where I learned all about resiliency, courage, shame, and belonging)
Desire Map Licensing Program, 2014 (where I got clear about desire and goals)
What I'm Learning Now:
I'm taking both a TRE (Trauma Release Exercise) and Yoga Therapist certification to help integrate the body connection part of our healing. I'm also planning to take the Body Trust Certification for practitioners from my incredible friends at Be Nourished.